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Set healthy boundaries – even before you meet: It’s natural to flirt via messages and conversations in the beginning stages of dating. You’re pursuing a romantic connection, after all! However, if your date is crossing boundaries and making you feel uncomfortable, politely let them know immediately. For example, if they make an advance that feels like too much too soon, express your feelings: “That makes me feel uncomfortable, could we take a step back from that please?”
Don’t…limit yourself. Keep your options open and remember one way of finding a date is not necessarily right for everyone. There are so many options, including online dating sites, apps, recommendations, blind dates, meeting someone when socialising and more. The world is your oyster. Do…remember to have fun and that dating should be exciting. Although the end goal is to find a perfect partner, it’s important to enjoy the journey. Plan fun dates and do things you both like. If your date isn’t ‘the one’, at least you will have some fun experiences.
In fact, it’s one of the most important words in your dating vocabulary. Especially as women, we’re taught to be likable and easygoing on dates, and we focus more on how to be liked than whether or not we actually like them (but more on that below). You know what we should vow to end in 2022? Going on dates we’re not excited about, texting back people we don’t like, or not vocalizing what we want and need in our relationships to protect other people’s egos. Overall, let’s work on saying “no” when we want to say no. Compromise and empathy are crucial in relationships, but so is respect for each other’s wants and needs. Communicating what you don’t want should be just as easy as what you do. If it’s not, this person doesn’t respect you or care about you as much as they say they do. Thank you, next.
FYI: Being alone is a good thing. A single relationship status or even just time spent on our own allows us to turn inward, explore our truest desires, and get to know ourselves better. When we know ourselves and what we want, our dating lives become more fulfilling, successful, and fun. Any amount of time alone can be invested to understand what we want out of a partner, but more importantly, it can make us feel so whole we don’t need a partner. Let me go on a quick tangent about a few outdated dating rules that we really should ditch, like, yesterday. To start, my least favorites of all dating rules are “Don’t kiss on the first date” and the “Three-date rule.” Let’s just throw out any rules that imply that what you want to do with your body and when you want to do it are not up to you. Make your own rules based on comfortability and what you’re feeling.
In reality, just being nice to a girl you like doesn’t convert her into your girlfriend magically. Don’t nurse fantasies of dating a girl while sticking around her and doing nice things hoping to get noticed. The best route to take – coupled with being nice to her – is to ask her out on a proper date. Let her know how you feel about her. This will let her know that you’re not just around her for casual friendship. If you don’t do this, there’s a high probability you’ll end up in the friendzone. Dating apps are convenient because they remove all the anxiety it takes to work up to a woman, build friendship, and ask her out on a date. But that convenience can quickly become addicting. And this isn’t a good thing for several reasons.
Keeping the romance in a relationship is hard work. Most people just go with the flow and gradually let a natural decay slowly kill the relationship. This is why it takes a deliberate effort to make a relationship work. And when a man knows what to do to keep the romance alive, it blows a woman’s mind away. Men who understand this know the value of space. They know that it’s not just about giving the woman their attention all the time. They understand that as much as attention is good, it’s also good to go away, and let the mind want what it already has. This is perhaps why Esther Perel, a relationship therapist put it that desire needs space. Those who don’t understand this simple concept end up with a passion that only lasts as long as their hormones can remain fired up.
Narcissists and controlling personalities very often like to lock things down ASAP — because they like to dictate the pace, they thrive on the thrill of making you swoon over them, and fast-tracking intimacy means they get what they want out of you sooner. Unfortunately, when you get in too deep too fast, you don’t have a chance to see who they really are before committing. Then, three months in, when you have your first argument, it may become crystal clear that they’re not only completely different than the person who swept you off your feet but probably incapable of forming a healthy bond. The lesson here? Slow and steady wins the race. Anyone worth being with will be willing to wait for those feelings to grow. By taking your time in dating, you’re allowing yourself the opportunity to get to know all facets of the other person — not just the ones they want you to see — before making any decisions about your future.